Wonder if I'll Make Page 3?

 

When I was a child, if you’d asked me what I wanted to be when I grew up, I’d have said an artist. Or a writer. Or an astronaut. Or a vet. Or a sound engineer. Once, in French class, I lied and said I wanted to be a photojournaliste, because I couldn’t remember how to say any of the others. I don’t recall ever wanting to be a Page 3 girl, though.

Please don’t misunderstand me; I never viewed those girls as victims, or as imbeciles; so far as little me could see they were beautiful women displaying their beautiful bodies in the newspaper every day, bringing a smile to all with their pert boobies, and views on that day’s breaking news. 

Sam Fox not only got to number 3 in the UK singles chart with ‘Touch Me(I Wanna Feel Your Body)’ https://youtu.be/W1btg3mpEOc , but also co-hosted the greatest Brit Awards ever!

Linda Lusardi became an actress and a bona fide national treasure.

And Kathy Lloyd, to little me, was like a Disney princess come to life. She was, and to me always will be, the most beautiful of them all.

But I still never wanted to be on page 3. Until April 17^th of this year…

Little old me got picked out of many, many wonderful folk, to be featured by the Open University in Wales as one of their disabled student stories. I am on their website: 'The OU gave me my confidence back': Beck's experience of studying with MS | Open University in Wales there for all to read who may be wanting to study, but think they won’t be able to hack it. They will. Still not harbouring any desire to be on page 3 though. But then…

They started to share my story on social media. Imagine the shock of taking a sip of coffee, and spurting it out all over your mobile phone because you just caught sight of yourself on Instagram in between clips of cats talking with Southern accents, and photos of your sister’s latest baking experiment! Apparently, the ad’s running on Facebook, too; but I’m not on there so 🤷

But there are no pages! Get to the point!! About right? Well, from today, my story is also featured in Wales Online!!! https://www.walesonline.co.uk/special-features/how-open-university-enabled-mum-26575414 

Which, technically, is a newspaper. Yes, it’s online (clue in the name), so, technically, it won’t have any pages, but the first thing that popped into my mind when I was told I’d be featured in it was, ‘Ooh!, Wonder if I’ll make page 3?’ (The second being a long list of incendiary opinions of politicians, celebrities, and AI.)

Which is surely proof that you don’t have to have one iota of common sense to get a Master’s Degree in Creative Writing 😊

P.S, I'm in the Western Mail print paper this Thursday 27th April, so, you know which page I'll be turning to first...

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Update: Thursday, 27th April

Page 18! So, if you cover up the 1, and half of the 8...