By rights, this should have been #1, but, never mind 🙂
It was written as a flash for my writing group, and first published here Lou's Writing News, Cues and Reviews (louviewsnewscues.blogspot.com) December 15th 2022
Noelle
‘Now, Joanna,’ Maureen (her boss at the elderly complex) had said, ‘some – but not all – of our guests like their flat to be trimmed up for Christmas. It is not for you to judge, only to listen and do. If they want an olive-green bauble covered in cobwebs to be hung on a wonky tree, then so be it. If their pride and joy is a bald doll with a torn doily for a dress, and bent tin-foil wings, you tell them it’s beautiful and stick it on top of their tree. Got it? Good. Number eleven first.’
Number eleven: Doula’s flat. Doula was like a riddle Jo couldn’t crack. The idea she wanted her flat festooned contrasted wonderfully with the always dark, and sometimes horrifying, stories she told Jo.
‘That one round the back, girl, where I don’t have to look at it.’ Doula had managed to make decorating the tree an ordeal, berating her every time she picked up a threadbare bauble or battered cracker. Now, only the angel remained.
‘Handle her with care,’ Doula said, in a gentle voice, ‘she’s special.’
Indeed, she was. Her tin-foil wings bent, paper-doily dress (held on with yellowing tape) torn, and on top of a tangle of yellow hair clung a shining halo.
Jo lifted the angel up for a closer look, and gasped. ‘Oh, it’s a tiny bangle! How lovely. Whose was it?’
Doula stared, entranced, at the little angel, as Jo placed her carefully atop the wonky tree. ‘Was Noelle’s,’ she replied, and reached up and touched the angel. ‘She was due on Christmas. Born still Jan third. Never got the chance to wear it, so the angel does. Like she’s still here. Just life,’ she said to Jo, who was busy blinking back tears, ‘just life.’
Also first published here Lou's Writing News, Cues and Reviews: Drabbling: The results of the Twenty-Twenty Club Drabble Competition 2023 (louviewsnewscues.blogspot.com) on March 6th 2023
Tiddles
I loved you from the moment I saw you lying upside-down in your litter tray. Eighteen months old and mad, you were meant for me. Nobody else could cuddle you; your pointy black face and moss-green eyes staring up at me in bewilderment. Always.
We removed the wallpaper because you kept climbing it, got used to mopping up puddles of water, puddles of wee when you started to forget, when you went blind.
Now, I hold you to my chest like a new-born, so you can feel my heart beating as your own runs out. I love you. Always.
I wrote Sometimes Even Tina for a 100 words Drabble competition from my writing group. It's about how easy it is to lose your identity when your name seems to be an afterthought.
It was first published on March 6th 2023 here Lou's Writing News, Cues and Reviews: Drabbling: The results of the Twenty-Twenty Club Drabble Competition 2023 (louviewsnewscues.blogspot.com)
Caterina was dull. Everyone who met her as a babe remarked that she was ‘no trouble at all,’ which translated as ‘she doesn’t do much, does she?’ By the time she started school, everyone had forgotten Caterina’s name. She answered to all sorts, sometimes even Tina. She didn’t know to correct them, so she didn’t. Everyone who met her remarked how ‘clean and quiet’ she was, which translated as ‘she’ll never leave her mark.’ So, it was rather ironic that when Caterina disappeared that day, everyone finally looked for her. But by then it was too late.
Wow! What a frustrating
week it’s been for my writerly-self. No success of any kind has to be found,
even though I’ve sniffed around for it like a cartoon bloodhound (yes; with the
deerstalker hat, monocle, and pipe.)
Two competitions – good ones, with
actual cash prizes! – looked promising, and I began working on submissions,
convinced I qualified for both. Then came harsh reality, slapping me around the
chops.
Competition 1: Undiscovered/ underrepresented
writers. Yes! That’s me!! I’m undiscovered and underrepresented. Me, Sir, me!!!
Well, nope, not underrepresented in one important aspect (which shall not be
mentioned), so that was a no-go.
Never mind, there’s always…
Competition 2: Underrepresented, you
say? Why, that’s me, Miss, me! Hmm, the wording of the entry is a little loose
and fuzzy, I know, I’ll email and ask for clarification, and while I wait, I’ll
get started on my entry. Hurray! Entry going well, have words on the page,
vague idea where I’m heading, but… Oh, no! This cannot be!! I’m (so it
transpires) too successful? How can that be?
Holds up left hand, while
accessing online banking with the right. Checks account balance. Are you sure
I’m too successful? Because…
As I said, frustrating week. And then, another thing
happened to add to it (third time’s the charm though, right?)
My firstborn child – not my real-life
daughter, but my in-need-of-extra-support literary child, The Dendrites,
got rejected. Again. I don’t even recall submitting it to this particular
publisher, and I know it’s a tough child to love (The Undateables would
never have it on; not even that nice lady at Flame Introductions would take it
on, and she loves a challenge,) but I’m sad for it, nonetheless. It’s my
firstborn, after all.
Still, onwards, and upwards we
trudge. Something good is gonna happen, no?
https://youtu.be/ixMWhpg0iXU
Today is a new day, and another chance to do my #MSMakesMe answer for @mssocietyuk over on Instagram (@tiddleboo); this time without trying to upload too-long videos! I thought I'd share it here, too.
My answer is in two parts, as we all have bad days and
good days. First, the bad:
#MSMakesMe feel like I’m permanently wearing a heavy, wet,
uncomfortable Winter coat, one that skims the ground, is in a dark
colour, and has started to whiff a bit. That sort of coat.
Even when Spring comes, and the sun shines, I still
find myself wearing that bloody coat, having it weigh me down, making me
stagger as though the Winter wind is buffeting me. That’s my fatigue, that’s
part of how it feels.
The good answer, though, is really good:
#MSMakesMe Serendipitous!
Serendipitous roughly means having something good
occur out of an unlikely act; the act being MS. For those who don’t know, I’m a
writer. I write short fiction, sometimes very short fiction, because that’s
what my MS ravaged brain allows me to do now. Last year was a success, 34
pieces of work I submitted to competitions and journals were published. Hurray!
Last May I had my delayed graduation ceremony with the
Open University for my Master’s in Creative Writing. At the time I sent the OU
my story, the story of my studying with health issues. Well, last week, the
Open University in Wales published a student story about me on their website 'The
OU gave me my confidence back': Beck's experience of studying with MS | Open
University in Wales , to show others who may be wondering if
they could study with MS that they certainly could. That there is help
available, that they won’t be the first (or last) to have trod that path.
Then, this week, Wales Online published an advert/article
about me How
The Open University enabled mum with MS to regain her confidence - Wales Online ,
based on that student story.
And, this Thursday, The Western Mail newspaper will be
running that self-same article about little old me!
Now, perhaps nothing will come of this exposure, but
perhaps something will. And, without that whiffy old wet, Winter coat that is
MS, I wouldn’t have had that exposure.
So, this week, #MSMakesMe Serendipitous😊
When I was a child, if you’d asked me what I wanted to
be when I grew up, I’d have said an artist. Or a writer. Or an astronaut. Or a
vet. Or a sound engineer. Once, in French class, I lied and said I wanted to be
a photojournaliste, because I couldn’t remember how to say any of the
others. I don’t recall ever wanting to be a Page 3 girl, though.
Please don’t misunderstand me; I never viewed those
girls as victims, or as imbeciles; so far as little me could see they were
beautiful women displaying their beautiful bodies in the newspaper every day,
bringing a smile to all with their pert boobies, and views on that day’s
breaking news.
Linda Lusardi became an actress and a bona fide
national treasure.
And Kathy Lloyd, to little me, was like a Disney
princess come to life. She was, and to me always will be, the most beautiful of
them all.
But I still never wanted to be on page 3. Until April
17th of this year…
Little old me got picked out of many, many wonderful
folk, to be featured by the Open University in Wales as one of their disabled
student stories. I am on their website: 'The
OU gave me my confidence back': Beck's experience of studying with MS | Open
University in Wales there for all to read who may be wanting to study, but
think they won’t be able to hack it. They will. Still not harbouring any desire
to be on page 3 though. But then…
But there are no pages! Get to the point!! About right? Well, from today, my story is also featured in Wales Online!!! https://www.walesonline.co.uk/special-features/how-open-university-enabled-mum-26575414
Which, technically, is a newspaper. Yes, it’s online (clue in the name), so,
technically, it won’t have any pages, but the first thing that popped into my
mind when I was told I’d be featured in it was, ‘Ooh!, Wonder if I’ll make page
3?’ (The second being a long list of incendiary opinions of politicians, celebrities, and AI.)
Which is surely proof that you don’t have
to have one iota of common sense to get a Master’s Degree in Creative Writing 😊
P.S, I'm in the Western Mail print paper this Thursday 27th April, so, you know which page I'll be turning to first...
***
Update: Thursday, 27th April
Page 18! So, if you cover up the 1, and half of the 8...
In the words of Ringo Starr, 'Forgive the lateness of my reply.'
First post since last May! Appalling, but there we are. Still not in possession of Bernard's watch, so no time-travelling here. Anyway, on to the purpose of this post...
SOTU
I don’t have a great deal in common with the 46th
president of the United States of America; not withstanding a worrying
regularity to muck up my words, and fall up steps. But we share something of
not: being relatively late delivering our State of the Union address.
On February 7th of this year, old rubbish-nicknames
himself, Joe Biden (check out some of the nicknames previous POTUSes had – The
Last Cocked Hat, anyone? – here List
of nicknames of presidents of the United States - Wikipedia ) addressed
congress, touching on topics like the economy, news, achievements, and where to
improve. Like a school parent’s evening, only without having to look at three
A4 books of your child’s work on The Ocean, India, and The Victorians.
All well and good, but not as mind-blowing (perhaps a slight
exaggeration…) as my very first SOTU, delivered on the last-but-one day of the
first quarter of 2023. I’m intending to focus on my writing here, so it’s as
much a mystery to me as it will be to you what turns up.
2022 stats:
85 pieces of work submitted in total (61 to competitions, 24
to journals, writing sites, calls for submission, etc)
34 pieces published/ to be published in 2023 (21 from
competitions, 13 from other sources)
So… roughly a 29% success rate (just shy of 18% from
competitions, 11% from other sources). Which is good.
However… 22 of those published pieces belong to a: a writing
group that I no longer belong to, and, b: a journal which ceased publishing
last year, which comes to almost 75% of my “Hey, I like your style, sister!”
success platforms. Which is a little worrying. Isn’t it?
Well, maybe.
But… a big bit of the SOTU is to looking to the future, and,
in the words of FDR in 1941 (Jan 6th, eager beaver!) have ‘freedom
from fear.’
What fears? Well, look at those 85 submissions, what do they
have in common? A total and utter dearth of agents or publishers. Not one
bloody piece did I dare send.
2023 is almost ¼ through, but ¾ remain for that to be
addressed. Even if the outcome is 0% success, I will have done it anyway, and
nothing is ever as hard the second time around, is it, Amtrak Joe (terrible nickname)?
Fatboy Slim had a song, "Praise You" https://youtu.be/ruAi4VBoBSM (1998/99), with a video by Spike Jonze that always brings on happy-tears. The song features a sample of Camille Yarbrough performing her song, "Take Yo' Praise" https://youtu.be/sGQbtyctPmE (1975). The lyrics - in case you had forgotten them - go:
"We've come a long, long way together,
Through the hard times and the good,
I have to celebrate you, baby,
I have to praise you like I should."
And, it's pretty damn easy to praise and celebrate others, isn't it? Just takes a little courage and good manners. Praising your own triumphs though? celebrating what you've done? Waaaaaay harder!
I thought I'd compile a list of all my writing wins, and celebrate myself here. I was pleasantly surprised there were so many, and all available online either to read for free (though a donation to one of the sites (Makarelle) would be appreciated) or to buy, outright. The purpose of this post isn't to boast, but just to say to myself that I'm doing good! It isn't necessary to write a novel to be a proper writer (short-form writing is just as hard, and fulfilling, thank you very much), it's just necessary to keep on writing well. That's it. So, here's my list of output from the last year, well done me!
Creative Pieces:
Makarelle Independent Literary and Creative Arts Journal @makarelle1
Issue 1: Spring 21 “Coming Unravelled” Makarelle Spring 2021
"Coming Unravelled" (flippingbook.com)
Those Who Can
Issue 2: Summer 21 “Tattoo” Makarelle Summer 2021:
'Tattoo' (flippingbook.com)
Happy Birthday
The Ballad of Dove and Nate
Issue 3: Autumn 21 “Twisted Tales” Makarelle Autumn 2021:
'Twisted Tales' (flippingbook.com)
The Mirror at Midnight
Issue 4: Winter 21/22 “Love is Love” Makarelle Winter
2021/22: 'Love is Love' (flippingbook.com)
I’ll Still Bring Flowers
Issue 5: Spring 22 “Landmarks” Makarelle Spring 2022:
'Landmarks' (flippingbook.com)
Beside Myself with Glee
Successio Eirian
Via Amazon.co.uk
Makarelle Anthology One
ISBN 979-8499762516 Anthology
ONE: Amazon.co.uk: Makarelle: 9798499762516: Books £8.00
Those Who Can
Happy Birthday
The Ballad of Dove and Nate
The Mirror at Midnight
Red-eyes
The Brightlingsea Harpy
Words From Wonderland: Edited by R. E. Loten, and J. M. Langan ISBN 9781915970060 https://www.amazon.co.uk/Words-Wonderland-Twenty-Club/dp/1915970067
Alicia and Stevie
Breaking the Spell
Sometimes Even Tina
Which Way I Ought to Go from Here
Via Drakethebookshop.co.uk @drakethebookshop
Crossing the Tees: 5th Short Story
Anthology ISBN 978-1914170270 Crossing
The Tees – 5th Short Story Anthology – 26-27 Silver Street, Stockton on Tees
(drakethebookshop.co.uk) £10.00
'Lexi’s Cone of Love'
Crossing the Tees: 6th
Short Story Anthology ISBN 978-1914170393 Crossing the Tees Short Story Anthology – “The most magical
little bookshop . . . a little piece of heaven in what can be a crazy world.”
(drakethebookshop.co.uk)
£10.00
‘Curiouser and Curiouser’
New Welsh Review @newwelshreview
New Welsh Writing Awards 22: Rheidol Prize for Prose with
a Welsh Theme or Setting (Highly Commended) 2022
Shortlist - Rheidol Prize for Prose with a Welsh Theme or Setting - New Welsh
Review
Blinks and Shards
MS Society blog @mssocietyuk
“In Praise of Valentine’s Day and Being Kind to
Yourself” In
praise of Valentine’s Day and being kind to yourself | Multiple Sclerosis
Society UK (mssociety.org.uk)
“What Mothering Sunday Means to Me” What
Mothering Sunday means to me | Multiple Sclerosis Society UK (mssociety.org.uk)
Fairlight Books
Fairlight Books - Literary Fiction and
Short Story Publisher
Number
Six Is a Half-broken Mind 'Number
Six is a Half-Broken Mind' by Beck Collett | Fairlight Books
Factual Pieces/ Special Features:
The Open University in Wales
“The OU gave me my confidence back': Beck's
experience of studying with MS’ 'The
OU gave me my confidence back': Beck's experience of studying with MS | Open
University in Wales
WalesOnline
‘How The Open University enabled mum with MS to regain her
confidence’ How
The Open University enabled mum with MS to regain her confidence - Wales Online
Western Mail
‘How
The Open University enabled mum with MS to regain her confidence’ (27 April 2023) p. 18
Do you remember that wicked song by Skee-Lo, ‘I Wish’? The one that went,
Hello
This week, three good things have happened regarding my
writing:
1.
I got shortlisted by Cranked Anvil Press CRANKED ANVIL PRESS – Writing Competitions |
Indie Press | Lit Mag | Resources | Podcasts | Est. 2012 in their July 2021
Short Story competition. Hurrah! Didn’t get top three, but it’s still a good achievement.
2.
I got a piece accepted for publication by
Makarelle literary magazine Makarelle in
their forthcoming Autumn 2021 edition: ‘Twisted Tales’. Hurrah again!
3.
And, most fulfilling of all, I got messaged on
Instagram by someone who had read a piece I wrote for the MS Society (you can
read it here https://www.instagram.com/p/CPiIjpUKyH1/?utm_source=ig_web_copy_link
), and actually found it helpful. Me, helpful! Amazing.
So, all in all, a good week from a creative slant. Which is handy, as I have hit the buffers a bit with my writing. We went on holiday at the very end of August, which was lovely, but beforehand it was all consuming – trying to get everything sorted.
I took my writing book and pen with me, which remained closed throughout, as I was too busy resting my brain. Since getting back, it was rushing to get Eve ready for Year 4, ploughing through the mountain of washing, and catching up on sleep.
My brain is still resting, though not hibernating (as with our squirrels, who NEVER EVER HIBERNATE). But I am still here, just wanted you to know that. And I’ll have something for you soon, I’m sure. In the meantime, I’ll gently wander along, eyes and ears half-open for inspiration to plop into them.
And it will. Stay safe, stay happy x
Book two of 2024 read, and, bloody hell, that was shattering ☹️ I thought I had a pretty good idea what had gone on with @britne...
